3 Easy Steps to Build Rapport with NLP - Leading NLP Center Malaysia
Top 5 NLP Skills & Concepts That Will Change Your Life
June 7, 2018
3 Easy Steps to Re-Build Rapport
August 8, 2018

Whether you love meeting new people at social gatherings or whether you hate it; either way, your ability to build rapport with others or the lack of it is what determines your success in creating fruitful conversations.

Rapport is that connection of trust and familiarity that creates meaningful conversations between you and your friend. With rapport, you can share your ideas, feelings, or even disagreements freely and sincerely. You have been naturally building rapport with others your whole life, although most likely you have been doing it unconsciously! Allow me to offer you 3 easy steps to build rapport consciously and on purpose by using NLP.

  1. Physiology and Gestures
  • Postures – Observe first, and then match or mirror the body physiology of the other person. Is the person leaning forward, folding their arms or crossing their legs?
  • Gestures – Do they have a certain shoulder shrug, hand gesture, or perhaps the way they tilt their head?
  1. Voice & Tonality
  • Speed – Match the speed of their speech. If you naturally speak fast, then slow down a bit.
  • Volume – You can adjust and speak in a louder or softer voice to match the other person.
  • Tonality – Does the tone sound upbeat, full of pauses, or has a certain rhythm to it?
  1. Verbal Style

Pay attention and notice if they favour more visual, auditory or kinesthetic words; in NLP we call it “Preferred Representational System”. Then, use more of those words as you speak to them. Here are some examples of the words and phrases that you can use according to their preferred representational system:

  • Auditory – “I hear what you are saying”, “That idea sounds good”, “Your silence means a lot to me”, “Pay attention to … “, “He voiced an opinion… “, or “Please give an account of … “
  • Kinesthetic – ‘feel’, ‘pressure’, ‘grasp’, “Get in touch with …”, “Hang in there!”, or “Slipped my mind.”
  • Visual – “Do you see what I mean?”, “Can you see it …”, “I view it …”, “Beyond a shadow of doubt …”, “In light of … “, or “This looks like … “

Important Tip: As you match and mirror, make sure you do so subtly, so that it stays out of the other person’s awareness. Otherwise, you might break rapport if they notice you are mimicking them.

You are all set now; go ahead, build rapport and have fun in the process!


For other useful tips and other life changing ideas, please read our other blogs and learn the #AuthenticNLP™ with NaviGo® NLP Center.


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