Whether you want to build a relationship or you are seeking ways to maintain one, it is an understatement how much we rely on trust in relationships, even when we don’t actively think about it. The strength of our connections is measured by the value we give to the simple things like being on time, doing what you say you will do, etc. This extends to conversations we have with one another as well. All these values we give to the experiences and communications are the currency of relationships. So in one form or another, it does ‘pay’ to maintain relationships.
For example, back in school, you may have made a friend who shared the same age, same class, sat in the same row, shared common interests. That’s a form of building trust and familiarity. When you participate and find more similarities through activities and conversations, your rapport grows stronger. But when you start pursuing different interests, that relationship stops growing. Similarly, if a friend is being tardy or forgets a promises, that weakens the relationship.
There are other methods of relationship building other than from the ones I mentioned, such as rapport building in NLP and developing a strong charisma (Yes! Charisma is something that you can and should develop; refer to our other posts on Charisma and Owen Fitzpatrick). Both are a natural abilities we all have, can learn (or re-learn), and can be further developed from a good NLP™ program. The latter is also something very much learnable by applying the various components learnt in NLP and with reputable NLP trainer.
The important thing to remember is that trust is grown; Not given, commanded, or expected. The faster trust is expected from another, the more flimsy it is. That’s why most ‘team building’ efforts don’t work without addressing the underlying issue of trust first.
Well, it’s more important to be aware of the relationships we have and the kind of outcome we want to achieve for ourselves. Be realistic with yourself. Not everyone you meet is worthy of your time and effort to build and maintain a good rapport. But once you have that, it’s your responsibility to keep up with the ‘payments’.
Consider for a moment that if the relationship you have with the important people in your professional or personal life does not show a great amount of trust, perhaps it is time you made the effort to fulfil your obligations and make the effort, even if you feel it isn’t yours to make. The bottom line is that you value the relationship. And if you find your efforts and trust constantly being let down by others, perhaps it is time to see if the partnership can be and/or is worth rebuilding. The responsibility and decision to invest, renew, rebuild or cut your losses is yours.
For other useful tips and other life changing ideas, please read our other blogs and learn the #AuthenticNLP™ with NaviGo® NLP Center.