In just a matter of days, the world will fall into a mode of self-reflection…Wondering where all the time went, and wishing for ‘a chance to start things over’. It’s a time when we look back and begin questioning some of the things that have happened to us. Inevitably, this self-reflection will reach a familiar conclusion.
Like something?=> Keep doing it
Don’t like something?=> Change it
Yes, it’s resolution time! If you’ve met with limited or no success with your past resolutions(or generally any goal you’ve had), what did you get out of your past attempts? And instead of just remembering the things you failed at, expand your view a little more, and recall what you also learned from them. After all, if you aren’t learning to do better, what did you go through all that failure for?
So to help you shift your thinking to get results, here are some helpful NLP presuppositions to turn those resolutions into reality.
There is No Failure, Only Feedback
It does sound a little cliché, but that only applies to those who haven’t figured out how to accept feedback. It’s important to remember that failure is a label. Once you label something as a ‘failure’, it ends the story. But you know in reality that time still goes on and so does the story. On the other hand, feedback keeps the story going, and it helps you grow – Whether it’s covered in sugar or not.
Feedback reflects back on whatever we’ve done and gives us a chance to see what did and didn’t work; what can be done better in the next attempt. What this NLP Presupposition also implies is that the results of our attempts aren’t cut in stone, but rather is a learning curve for each of us, which continues to get better if we endure and improve. Incidentally, that’s also what ‘having the resolve to succeed’means.
What You Focus On Expands
It’s important to remember that not all feedback are useful. People may have harsh opinions; telling YOU to give up because THEY don’t see how you can or should go on. Anyone can, and probably will, criticise your past efforts…Including yourself. That’s the truth, but that’s also where the usefulness of those types of toxic feedback stops. If you’re going to focus on feedback, why focus on what other people hate when you can concentrate on what works for you instead?
Remember that failures are only in the past. Yet if you imagine your future to already be a failure, then you are directing your efforts on fulfilling that self-imposed ‘prophecy’. But the opposite is also true.
Focusing on the improvements puts you in the same state of mind that all the main characters of the greatest stories of inspiration you’ve ever heard have – Courage, patience, creativity, determination, and resilience. Those stories only happened because the people in them stayed focused on the qualities that carried them forward, thereby making the changes they wanted to achieve.
The Ability to Change the Process is Often More Valuable Than Changing The Content
It’s one of the longer NLP Presuppositions, but a key understanding as you reflect on your feedbacks. Put simply, why you failed in the past isn’t nearly as helpful to your future improvement as ‘changing the way you failed’.
For example, debating about if smoking is addictive won’t actually stop you from smoking. However, if you change the way you smoke by lighting the cigarette, but never actually bringing it to your lips…Then you’ll find it becomes quite difficult to smoke that way. As you focus on smoking in this ineffective way, you will find it even harder to make an excuse to smoke at all, because watching a cigarette burn away is now an empty feeling.
It’s as simple at deciding to pick up a pen with your right hand instead of your left. And everyone, yes EVERYONE, has this ability to decide to change the process for themselves.
Putting It All Together
As you put all these presuppositions together, you will notice a connection between them and your goal. Looking at your challenges for the coming goals now, remember that everything you do will meet some resistance. However, by applying these presuppositions, you are now mentally equipped to process those challenges differently. Resistance is nothing but feedback that you can focus on improving, by changing the process. Becareful that if you focus on excuses why it is difficult, you will attract the problems, which blinds you from the solutions you seek. Focus instead on why it is actually simpler than you thought and absolutely possible for you.
For other useful tips and other life changing ideas, please read our other blogs and learn the #AuthenticNLP™ with NaviGo NLP Center.